The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
