i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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