I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
