I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
