omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
