everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
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