I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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