What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you traded sex for a burrito?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
