wakey wakey hands off snakey
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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