so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize