I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
