She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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