i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
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