I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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