We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize