she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
