"it" just moved
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
