doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize