I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
