Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
