never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
