I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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