you traded sex for a burrito?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
