isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
