YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
