wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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