people are starting to question the shark bite story
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
