did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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