I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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