Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
