i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
