Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
