Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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