Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
