we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud đł
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have âdaddy issuesâ. Fuck all of you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all donât mix
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