dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
