): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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