Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
