I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
