My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
