you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
