You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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