i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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