HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize