yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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