Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
