I'm going to jail i love you
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
