I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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