i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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