i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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