i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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