Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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