I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
