i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i would punch a child for taco bell
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
