I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
