I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
