All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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