u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
