your thong is hanging out like whoa
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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