I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
