Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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