so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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