Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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