You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
