Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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