i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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