you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
