how hairy? two words: wookie tits
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
