Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
