Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
