you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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