And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
