I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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