Barsexuality is the new black.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
