I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
