I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
