Your dad touched me again.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
