So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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