So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
