I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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