you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
