the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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