hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
