think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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